The Little Engine That Could

Years ago, I worked for a company and did customer service. I can remember this guy coming up to me and saying “Hello, Ms. Tenacious”.  I thought he was slurring at me.  I had heard the word “tenacious” before but never considered that something that someone would call another person.  So I went and looked it up.  The definition for it is persistent.  Now, I used that word a lot.  I knew what it meant.  And in the context that this man was referring to I took it as a huge compliment.  When I want to put a smile on my face I call myself Ms. Tenacious. So from that point on, every time he called me that, I would just beam.

So today is the day before I do a half-marathon.  I drove 17 hours yesterday (it’s a long story) to be in a place to walk 13.1 miles.  Then, two days from now I will drive those 17 hours back home to say that I have done it.  Yeah, I must be crazy.

I am not a runner.  Don’t profess to be.  But I do love to be outside.  And I don’t mind walking, especially if you can keep me from thinking about walking.  If you can get into a good conversation while you are walking you don’t notice that you are tired and worn out and would like to just sit down for awhile.

I took up walking last July.  I had been on a “get healthy” kick and had lost some weight.  For several years now I have become aware of my body getting older, and hurting.  I was beginning to believe the commercials designed for baby boomers about arthritis and other ailments.  I started my journey because I couldn’t breathe, I hurt all over, and I had family members that needed to get healthy with me.

When I first started I would walk a mile.  Then two miles.  Then one day, down the road from my house, I realized that I was on track to do a 5k.  I did it.  Then I thought, hey, I can get into some of these 5k’s that they do around our community.  I knew I wasn’t fast, but I was tenacious, and I could finish them.  One day I decided to walk around the block.  When you live in the country, a block turns into miles.  By the time I was over 4 miles I finally called my husband and told him to come and get me.  I could see our farm, but I was going to have to walk 2 or 3 more miles to get there.  I was worn out.  He came, and acted mad that I had called.  But he could have been mad that I didn’t finish.  I like to think he was mad at himself for not being out there with me, encouraging me along the way.

We live pretty close to the Land Between the Lakes.  There are some wonderful walking trails up there.  I have always fancied myself a hiker.  Well, in this newfound passion of mine I have ventured on some of those trails.  Most of the time I get lost.  But every time I get lost or just get out there I know that the only way I’m going to make it back to my car is to walk back.  That’s the only way.  I can whine all I want to.  If I get hurt, it won’t matter.  An ambulance can’t get into those woods.  And it has become a challenge to me; a challenge of endurance but also a challenge of my will.  When I am heading into the woods, I really want to do this.  About a mile in I think I am crazy.  But by the time I do make it back to the car I seriously think that I enjoyed every step I took.  Okay, some of the steps into mud are not that enjoyable and some of the ones that cause me to fall on my rear to slide down a small embankment are a little bit scary but the fact that I was able to get back to the car is such a rush.

So here I sit, at the end of February, at Disney World.  My oldest daughter bullied me into running a half-marathon.  Remember, I don’t run.  The people that do are very competitive.  They’re not racing each other, their racing their last time.  And if you are slower than they are then you are in their way.  But I don’t care about my time.  I put my earphones in, loud, and start singing along with some of my most favorite tunes.  Sometimes I dance a little.  Sometimes I sway a little.  But I am out there for the experience, the roads that are closed to cars, and the lack of dogs.

But the weather has not been cooperative leading up to this.  We have had freezing weather.  We have had snow.  We have had ice.  I have had to stay in and walk on a treadmill.  I don’t like walking on a treadmill.  It’s boring.  Even with listening to my tunes.  Even with reading a book.  It’s boring.  So, I can come up with all kinds of reasons not to get out there.  And I haven’t.

So this morning I have leg cramps, and back spasms and all kinds of things that make me question my decision to head south to walk.  I have had to reconsider my logic.  Am I too old for this?  Am I too out of shape for this?  I am so going to embarrass myself.  I like walking in front of the ambulance so they don’t have to go far to pick me up.  Is this the time they are going to have to pick me up?  What if something bad happens and I’m way down here and my entire family is not with me?  Oh, maybe I need to rethink this whole idea.

Don’t you just want to say to yourself sometimes “oh, shut up!”  Because right now, writing this, that’s what I’m thinking.  If you don’t mind, I think I’ll give myself a lecture.  1.  You are not too old for this.  You’re a babe.  There are women in their 90’s who do this.  Get over it.  And by the way, they’ll probably be in front of you.  So shut up.  2.  You are not out of shape.  You might not be in great shape.  But I will say that you are probably in better shape than you have been in 20 years, maybe 30.  So, shut up.  There are going to be serious, professional runners here.  You have nothing to prove to them.  The only thing you have to do is prove that you can do this.  Hey, you don’t even have to finish.  But you have to start, and while you’re out there, go ahead and finish.  3.  This is not the time the ambulance picks you up.  You are not going to die.  And if you do die then what would be better than dying at Disney World?  Daddy would love that.  And if you do die then your family has a great story to tell.  And if you do die then your muscles will really not be hurting all next week.  So, get over it.  4.  And your family is with you.  True, they might not physically be here.  But there are 2 beautiful women who love you very much back in the room sleeping right now.  It wouldn’t be so bad to lean on them to get me home in case something bad happens.  And remember, if the worst can happen (which it won’t) they are challenged to get you buried over at the Haunted Mansion under the tombstone that says “Here Lies Fred, He Once Was Alive But Now He’s Dead”.  Daddy would think that was so funny.

Thank you for allowing me that little pep talk.  I feel better now.

Which reminds me, I’m at Disney World.  I’ve got places to go and things to do.  As much as I would love to sit here and write all day, I can’t.  I have a lunch date with Harry Potter over at Universal.