And They’re Off!

I will tell you that the first time I went to the bingo or the racetrack I was probably an infant. I will just start this off here by telling you that I come from a long line of German Catholics who lived in Louisville, Kentucky. That means that bingo, poker and horse racing were the staples of their life, and therefore, the staple of my early childhood education. I am sure that if my mother chose to go to the bingo with her mother or aunts or sister, she had us in tow. She took us everywhere she went.

I loved playing bingo from an early age. It was a puzzle to me. I was making a design on my card and if I completed my design before anyone else then I got to holler bingo really loud. Of course, I remember the adult grabbing my card when I got close to make sure that I hadn’t missed a number and had covered the right numbers. If the game was for a lot of money then that same adult would sit on that card to pull that number in. It was so exciting to me, and a little bit nerve wracking.

The bingos were fundraisers for Catholic schools, mostly. That didn’t matter to us. What we cared about was what night of the week was the bingo on and how much money was their big game. The big game we went looking for was the $300 coverall.

I don’t remember my grandmother ever working but I know she did while my mom and aunt were growing up. I do remember her going to the bingo. Poppy would give her the money to go. If she won she had to split it with him. I’m sure he didn’t care but it was always a big deal to see her count the money out to him. If she won she always gave me a part of her winnings. I loved it when she would hand me a little money. When I got big enough to play then Poppy would pay my way and I would have to split with him. When Poppy died other people would give Mama money to play bingo on. They would tell her not to worry about giving it back but if she won she would split it with them.

I loved going to the bingo and would go anytime I could. I never was really lucky but I didn’t care. I loved to play. I had my crochet bag that had all of my bingo chips. Sometimes I would bring a good luck charm but they were never good luck so I wasn’t loyal to them. I don’t remember ever winning big money but I do remember the time that Mama won $300. That was a huge event in my house. My mother had paid for her to go to the bingo but didn’t let Mama split it with her. She did let Mama give her some money but not half.

As I got older I would go to the bingo with Mom or her sister. Sometimes I would go with my great-aunt Bonnie. Y’all, she was a character. She was legally blind but she would go and play bingo like there was no tomorrow. She would get there early and she would memorize her cards. She knew what numbers she had on each card.

When I quit school and moved back to Louisville I didn’t have any money and I didn’t have anything to do. I would take Aunt Bonnie to the bingo. Uncle Doc would pay my way and if I won I had to split it with him. Trust me, I never won. I would have to go pick up Aunt Bonnie in the Highlands in Louisville. When I would pick her up I would help her to the car and she would tell me that we needed to stop at Schnook’s grocery store up on the corner because I needed to run in and get her some cigarettes and Kaopectate or Pepto Bismol. I would bring it out to her and she would guzzle the medicine. She would smoke in my car and flick the ashes on the floor board. It made me so mad but you couldn’t say anything to Aunt Bonnie. When we got to the bingo she would buy me a hamburger and French fries. Everyone knew her. Some people liked her. She didn’t care. She didn’t like too many people.

She taught me all kinds of things about luck. If you were “snake bit” that meant you needed to do something about it. First, you would need to spit on the bottom of your chair and get up and walk around the chair. That way you were turning your luck around. If that didn’t work you needed to go to the bathroom and pee on your little finger. I don’t know what that was supposed to do but that did work more times than not. You had to see which way your luck was going before you did either of these though.

Because we got to the bingo so early we got to sit wherever we wanted. Sometimes we would go to the bingo and sit with this really nice lady and her young daughter. I liked them a lot. They would fuss right back at Aunt Bonnie and they wouldn’t get mad if you won a game. They would be happy for you.

Aunt Bonnie told me that we had been invited to a wedding and that I needed to go because there were 3 young, single, men that were going to be there and I could take my pick. Come to find out, two of those men were sons of our bingo buddy, Dolly. I told Aunt Bonnie she didn’t want me dating anyone because then I wouldn’t be able to take her to the bingo. I went anyway. As it was I did hit it off with one of Dolly’s sons and she became my mother-in-law six months later. She was the one who took my place in picking up Aunt Bonnie and taking her to the bingo.

PLAYING POKER

I don’t remember what the occasions were but I remember the adults playing poker at my grandmother’s house. It was all of her sisters and her daughters with their husbands. I can remember 7 or 8 people around that table. They were all smoking and drinking and cussing and having a grand old time. Sometimes Mom or Dad would let me sit in their lap and let me play their hand or throw in their bet. But I wasn’t allowed to play. I was too little.

I couldn’t wait for the day that I got to sit with all of the adults and play poker. Unfortunately I was never able to play poker with my grandparents but my parents did teach me to play and I was able to play with my brother and sister and cousins. We still play when we get together. I have taught my kids to play so now that they are adults we sometimes play when we’re all together. I won’t let the little kids play because we don’t need little kids at the table. Ha! I tell them they have to wait their turn just like I did.

OFF TO THE RACES

I don’t remember the first time I went to the races. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Sometimes I would go with Mama, other times I would go with Mom, and still other times I would go with Aunt Bonnie. I remember Mama holding my hand at Churchill Downs or Louisville Downs. I must not remember much about going with her because I don’t remember how she would bet. I must have been too little. I do remember how Mom and Aunt Meri would bet. I say I remember but Lordy, there are so many rules, I hope I can put them all down here.

Don’t ever bet against a gray horse.

Always bet the #1 horse.

Don’t ever bet against a horse sired by a Derby contender.

Don’t pay any attention to the odds. They don’t mean anything.

Always bet the longest shot.

Bet numbers. If your favorite number is “3” then stay on that, each race.

Bet names. Does the name mean anything to you? Bet it.

Bet on the horses with “Red” in their name. (I think that was personal to Mom because she was a red-head)

Box your bets. Nothing is worse than to have a “win” ticket on a horse that comes in second. Except if you have a “show” ticket on a long-shot winner.

Always bet on horses bred in Kentucky.

Never bet the favorite.

I’m sure there are others like I said, there so many you didn’t know who to bet on. But sometimes all of the stars would line up right and you would have the winning horse and it would be so exciting.

There were other rules, too. You weren’t allowed to buy anything to eat or drink until you cashed in a betting ticket. There have been lots of races that I would bet on every horse in the race just so I could cash a ticket. Then I would head straight to the bar and order a mint julep. I’m not sure if I like those so much because they are so good or because Mom and I shared our love of them. I remember the first time we took Kerry and his wife, Paula, to Churchill Downs and we left there with Paula having 6 or 8 mint julep glasses for her bar. You should have seen us leaving and trying not to break those glasses after we drank that many mint juleps.

One of my favorite memories of going to the track with Mom was when I was about 12 years old. Mom had won an exacta that had paid over $200. I was standing in line with her to collect her winnings. I had a habit then of going around and picking up parimutuel betting tickets. I would take them home and play with them. Sometimes I would check my program to see if any of those tickets were winners. They usually weren’t. But this day, waiting in line with Mom, I looked down and picked up some tickets. Going through those I saw one that was from the race Mom was cashing in on. I asked her who had won (I already knew) and this was that ticket. I picked up a winning ticket. Of course I wasn’t sure so I handed it to the cashier. He handed me the winning money. I about fell over. Mom and I looked around to see if anyone was looking for a ticket or was frantic, but no one was, so that money was mine. I was never so excited again. Mom was beside herself.

There was another time that stands out in my memories. When the thoroughbreds were not running at Churchill Downs then the trotters were running at Louisville Downs. For those of you who don’t know, thoroughbred racing is the sport of kings. Trotters, or harness racing, is the sport of the every man. These horses trot around the tracking pulling a rider on a sulky (a 2-wheeled cart). These races are pretty quick and there’s not a lot of time between races. They are also run at night. I would go to Louisville Downs with Mom or Mama or Aunt Bonnie. Aunt Bonnie was the most fun to go with. It was like going to the bingo. Either she or Uncle Doc would give me money to bet. She would buy me a hot dog or a coke. This night she and I went but I had my own money so I wouldn’t have to split my winnings. At this time of my life I was betting numbers. I was betting 2 & 4 in the exacta. And they had an exacta every race. Louisville Downs had a way you could bet called the Big L. You needed to pick the first and second horse in 2 races. The odds of doing this were huge. I had been playing 2 & 4 all night. The only time I won was on the first half of the Big L. That meant that I didn’t win anything but I did get a chance to bet on the second half of the Big L. Aunt Bonnie was beside herself. She had to analyze “the sheet”. She conferred with friends who were out there every night. She watched the tote board which kept updating the odds. Winning this race could be huge. While we were waiting to bet Aunt Bonnie told me to let her cash the ticket in because since she was on social security they wouldn’t keep out any taxes on her. They would on me. You need to know something about me. If I don’t bet 2 & 4, I bet 1 & 7. Those are my mother’s lucky numbers. Those are so lucky for her. But I listened to Aunt Bonnie. We bet the favorites. I don’t have to tell you, do I? One and 7 came in. That ticket paid $10,000. I still kick myself over that.

I like the fact that I am from Kentucky. I like the fact that I have a lot of German blood in me. And I really like that I am Catholic. I have no guilt about drinking or gambling or swearing. Of course, I have guilt about everything else.

I have tried to raise my children in the ways of a Kentucky Catholic with German ancestry. They all have played bingo (sometimes before they were 18 as is the law now). They all can play poker even if they use my money and then tell me how much they won. They’ve been to Churchill Downs. Louisville Downs is long gone. They all can drink and they all swear.

I expect them to raise their children right and to carry on the tradition.