I’m not a violent person by nature. I’m reasonable, I’m logical. I prefer to settle arguments by walking away from them. But I’ll tell you one thing, if you hurt me or something I love, I will hurt you.
I guess this reaction developed years ago after I divorced. My heart wasn’t broken at the end of my marriage. It had been breaking for years, the final straws were pretty anti-climatic. It was just the natural course the marriage was heading. I know that sounds pathetic but that’s the way it was.
I fell in love a couple of times before I fell in love with the love of my life. It was during those couple of times that I developed this attitude.
When you love something, desperately, you put it all out there, don’t you? You have your heart, your soul, your sweat, your tears, your fingernails in love. You are fully exposed. And if that love is not reciprocated, it’s like being suspended to a high wire and then the wire is cut. You come tumbling down. Everything in your life comes tumbling down. It’s devastating. And it takes forever to recover.
My grandmother had a theory. Give everything two years. If you are in a new relationship, give it two years. At the end of that time you’ll know if it will succeed or not. And at that time some decisions need to be made. Are you going to take the relationship to the next level or end it. You can’t continue on the road you’re on. You have to move one way or another. I remember hearing stories about how my aunt dated my uncle for five years. At one point, I’m told, my uncle was told to “either shit or get off the pot”. I can see my grandmother saying that. Obviously, he joined the family. But I’ll take it a little bit further. If love leaves you, you need to give that two years. You need two years to get your life back together. You need two years to get him/her out of your system. And the whole cycle starts again.
I reserve this comment for when I’m talking about people who have had a hard time with love. You know them. They had this great relationship that up and bit them in the ass. They have had their heart smashed more times than anyone wants to count. I recently had a friend marry a man from out of state. I’m sure he knew her romantic history. She’s very forthcoming. When I met him after the wedding I told him “you break her heart, we’ll break your legs.” It was a warning, for sure, but you should have seen his face. He about turned white. She could tell that his reaction was not in jest. She had to reassure him. She explained to him that we had known each other for years, raised our kids together, and that I knew everything about her relationships. She told him that I didn’t mean anything by it.
But I did mean it. No, I wouldn’t break his legs. But I wouldn’t let him walk away unscathed. If he walked away he would know the damage he had done. That would probably be worse than getting his legs broken, if he was any kind of man at all.
So if I say this to you, take it with a grain of salt. But consider what I’m saying. Because if you hurt that person you’ll have more than them to answer to.