If I’ve written about this before, please forgive me.
I made the mistake the other day to tell my son that when I grow up I’m going to … He came back to me and said “when you grow up?” I need to give him a break. He’s only 15. He hasn’t heard me say that for the last 50 years, “I’ll do that when I grow up.”
I literally have made that statement for the last 50 years. I use it when I am undecided about something or unhappy in my life. I don’t say it much now. I haven’t said it too often in the last 4 or 5 years because in those years I have been doing more of what I love. But I still use the “when I grow up” in some ways. For instance, when I grow up I’m going to travel a lot and drive a Cadillac and donate money freely.
As it is, I get to go places. Mainly I go places to visit my children or other family. But if I made up my mind that I wanted to go then all I would have to do is get in the car. Or I could rent a car. I could even fly if I wanted to. It’s all about priorities. But I like to drive. If I was to fly I would probably drive to Nashville or St. Louis first so if I’m going to drive that far I might as well drive to wherever I’m going. I would like to go on vacation once a year though. I would love to go somewhere and stay for two weeks. I can’t imagine that. But if I could talk myself into it I would go. I would probably want all of my kids with me so when that happens it’s a lot harder to coordinate calendars and such. I’ve been to a lot of places, some I would like to see again. Maybe I could plan to take all the kids to Disney World, when I grow up.
I drive a honker GMC Acadia. It’s so fricking big that I have a hard time parking the darn thing. I can’t imagine why I would want a Cadillac. I’ve never wanted one. In fact if I could have my dream car it would probably be a VW Beetle. That was my first car and I always loved it. I would want a manual transmission even though my knees would probably not like the clutch. When I get to the point where I can afford a Caddy maybe I can also afford an old VW. The reason I think I would like a Caddy is because I think that is the car that my husband would like. He would not like the VW. He likes a lot of car around him. He doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. He likes my car because he can be just as comfortable in the back seat as well as the front. Okay, whatever. I can’t imagine a Cadillac being fun to drive. I’m sure it can be fast and powerful, but not fun. A VW is fun to drive. I can remember driving mine anywhere and everywhere. If they could make it with 4-wheel drive I would be nothing but happy.
I have wished that I could win the lottery so many times it’s not even funny. I want to win so that I can take care of people and organizations. Who am I kidding? I want to win the lottery because I want to be rich. But can you imagine all the good things you could do with that kind of money? There are so many things that I would love to do but am limited because I don’t have unlimited funds. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer in stewardship. I think it’s just as important to donate your time and talent as it is to donate money. And I so think that I am truly unselfish in donating my time and talent. But if I had the treasures to donate I would feel complete. My mother believed strongly in taking care of the organizations that meant something to her. She instilled that volunteer ethic in me at an early age. Mom didn’t work as a volunteer but if someone needed something done she would do it. She was the queen of raffle ticket sales. I started officially volunteering at 12 years old. I was a Red Cross volunteer. I’m sure before then I did things at school or church. But being a Res Cross volunteer molded me into the person I was to become. I value every minute I spent doing that work. Throughout my life I have been fortunate to be able to find opportunities to help. But I’ve never been able to sit down and write a check. I wish that I could. But if I had to pick just one way to serve as a steward it would be with my time. So maybe in that respect I am a millionaire.
When I was young I couldn’t wait to grow up. Dad used to make fun of me by telling me that I was wishing my life away. I don’t think that I was. I just wanted to be there. Here I am smack dab on the high side of middle age and I don’t think I’m there yet. People are always looking for the Fountain of Youth. I think that is all in your head. And in my head I have a long way to go before I will be grown up. Maybe my kids will all get there before I do.