There’s a lot to be said for asking for it. I mean, when you go shopping they tell you to “Just ask”. There are those who say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. There’s a lot of people who say you’ll never get anything if you don’t ask for it. Shoot, there’s even a website called www.ask.com. There’s a lot to be said for asking for it.
And I’m here to tell you that you won’t get anything unless you ask for it. I remember a part time job that I had when I went back to college. I worked about 10 hours a week. I made pretty good money + commission but I never got the opportunity to make big money. After I was there about a year I went into the management and asked them why I never got the chance to make big money. I did a fairly good job with the accounts I had but I asked them why I didn’t get a chance to work the big accounts. They told me that they didn’t know I was interested in doing any more than I was doing. They told me that I never asked for anything. They thought I was satisfied with what I had.
Another job I had, when I went in to quit, told me that they didn’t know that I wasn’t happy in my job. I never asked them to help improve my situation. I never told them anything was wrong. They told me that they could change things if I chose to stay. I left anyway. I couldn’t believe that they just didn’t know that there were issues.
And that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? I always assume people know what I know. They always assume that everything’s fine unless they hear different. I remember a manager I had once told me that he liked working with me because I never complained about having too much work or that I had to work with difficult people. I looked at him and asked “that was an option?” I was shocked.
But through the years I have come to realize that I would never have anything if I didn’t ask for it. Some companies still give out merit raises, or cost of living increases. But so many people make the same money they have always made because they have never asked for more. I always thought the people who asked for things like that were considered to be pushy. I didn’t want to appear pushy. I wanted to be given new jobs and more money and more responsibility because management felt that I deserved it. I didn’t want to work six months and go in and tell them I had done a bang-up job and felt I deserved more. But I’ll go to one of my new mantra’s, “if not you, then who?” Because nobody’s looking out for you. That’s your job.
I have always been perceived as being a really good salesperson. I’m not. I’m a really good marketer but where I fail as a salesperson is that I won’t ask for the sale. Personally, I don’t think I need to have to ask for the sale. If I’ve done a really good job with my presentation then I think that the potential customer should just say, “you can quit, I’m sold”. In fact, when I have been successful at selling it’s because I have done that. But the people who can close a sale on one call are the ones who ask for the sale. To my defense I have tried to ask for the sale at the end of the call but I’m not convinced in most cases so how can I ask my customer to be convinced. My customer has to think about it. Now, if I call back in two days I assume that my customer is going to tell me that they’re going to buy it. But I still don’t ask for the sale. See, I told you I sucked as a salesperson.
But it’s the same thing in life. I don’t get all that I want, or deserve, because I won’t ask. I’ll never forget years ago I wanted to be more active in my church. I went and talked with the church office and told them all the things that I could do to help. I had a lot of talents that I thought they could utilize. Do you know what they asked me to do? They all had to be out of the office one day and there was an infirm priest who lived at the Rectory. They asked me if I would come and sit with him, in case he needed anything. I did it. But I kept mumbling to myself that there was so much more that I could offer. But I never asked if they needed me to do anything else. I didn’t want to be a babysitter. Of course, years later, I wish I had offered to sit with him for hours on end. He was such a blessing to me, and he had some great stories.
Looking back, I look at all the things I really wanted to do but didn’t get to because I didn’t ask.
But as much as you need to ask for it from others you really have to ask yourself for it. I’ve been fussing a lot recently, telling myself that I want to go to the beach, or on a cruise, or something. In the back of my mind I know that I can’t afford it. But why not? Can I not afford it because I really don’t have the money or because I don’t want to spend my money on that. And if I don’t want to spend my money on that is it because I have my priorities right, or don’t I? I mean, there are times that we all need a vacation, or warmth. I really need warmth. I could use a vacation. But I’ve got some high ticket items coming up later this year and I need to take care of those, don’t I? So what I’ve really got to do is plan for a trip. I can’t get up later this week and say “hey, I’m going to Florida”. No, but I could tell myself that next spring break I’m going to Disney World with a day or two at the beach. Yes, I can plan that.
But if i sit back and don’t even ask myself about it I’ll be in this same place five years from now saying “man, I need a trip to the beach”. See? It’s the same with buying a new car, or dating a new guy. You have to ask yourself. By asking yourself, that puts it on the agenda. And if it never gets on the agenda it never gets considered. It will always be in the back of your mind, never to the forefront.
That’s about it. So now I’m going to ask myself, are you finished here? Yeah, I think so. But I do reserve the right to come back and explore this topic further. That’s fine. But don’t be pushy.