The Exchange Granddaughter

My daughter Katie decided that she wanted to host a foreign exchange student. She came to me and asked if that would be all right. I told her she needed to ask her dad, he’s never been interested in doing that before.

To my amazement, Katie’s dad, Jimmy, said it would be all right to have a foreign exchange student. Katie was quickly able to pick a student who wanted to come for that school year, from France. We talked to her and her family via FaceTime a couple of times. She seemed very shy and didn’t seem interested in interacting with us. Her mother though was very interested in talking with us, and what we had to offer, and what an adventure this would be for her daughter. It was decided that she would come right before school would start at Fulton County High School where Katie teaches. She made her travel plans to leave her family and join her new family in the United States.

Katie made me go with her to pick Kim up from the airport in Nashville. I didn’t mind but she wasn’t getting in until late at night and then her plane was delayed. So by the time we were able to find her and bring her home she was very tired and we were very tired. We were excited to have her however, we would wait until the next day to show that excitement.

It didn’t take very long for Kim to become part of the family. She was quiet for a while, but it wasn’t very long at all before she started talking, answering questions, asking questions. She was great the way she always helped out around the farm and seemed as though she truly enjoyed it. She helped Jimmy salt down hams. She helped him hang sausage to be smoked. She fed the chickens. I don’t think she liked that very much. She helped feed the cows. She took care of the dogs like they were her own and you could tell that she was truly becoming a part of the family.

Then came a time when I got the feeling that Kim was pretty homesick. She talked to her parents quite a bit. She talk to her grandmother quite a bit. We were thankful for the technology that allows FaceTime because she was able to see them and they were able to see her and also to see the person that she had become. I thought she was home sick though. I know she missed her friends. She missed being at home. She missed being able to go and visit her grandmother and she missed her brother as well. I made a decision that really what she needed was something of her own to love on and to take responsibility for. I found her a kitten. We went to the pet shop and we got kitty litter, a litter pan, some kitten food, a carrier and all kinds of things for a new kitten. There was a man standing in line asking if we were getting a baby kitten and Kim said no and I said no and then Kim just went along with it. To me it was obvious we were getting a kitten and it was funny to me that she took me at my word. We went to a friend’s house who had told me that she had some baby kittens and wanted to get rid of them. I told her I could use a couple more out in the barn and I’ll take two. She could only catch one. I told Kim to get the kitten and she loved and hugged on it. She seemed so happy and seemed to think it was the greatest thing. I said well come on let’s go. Kim went to hand the kitten to my friend but I told her “no that’s your kitten”. Kim was absolutely astonished. When we got in the car and she asked “is this kitten for me?” and I said “yes it is”. She was confused and said “but you said no we weren’t getting a kitten to that man” and I said “I was just saying that to that man because it was obvious that we were getting a kitten” and was messing with him. It took her a while to catch onto my sense of humor.

I really think that getting the kitten was a turning point in my relationship with Kim. We became very close. I had to take the kitten to the vet to get it spayed, get all the shots, and make sure the kitten was healthy. It was my intention to put the kitten out in the barn after Kim left and we would just have another barn cat. Kim seemed upset that we were going to do that. One day she came downstairs and said “my mother said that I can bring the kitten to France when I go home”. That simply thrilled her.

Kim did very well in school. She and Katie got along so well. I know she spent a lot of extra hours going to and from school and staying after school to help with the Ag department and with FFA. She became an FFA member. She learned the FFA creed in both English and French, and when she went to compete for the “best of creed” she was able to recite it in French. Kim again recited the creed in French for the end of the year banquet. She also helped with floral arranging, the greenhouse, and all kinds of other things that came up for FFA. She traveled with FFA. She always had a very good time with what she was doing.

The program that Kim was with to come to the US had trips lined up throughout the year. She could take those trips but she didn’t have to. The first trip was to St. Louis and from what I understand they had a very good time. They went to a ball game, they saw the arch, all of the touristy things. That group was also going to Chicago and Kim really wanted to go. It was an expensive trip and her parents decided that it was too much money. Katie raised money to send Kim to Chicago with the group. She asked for donations. She sold things. She didn’t want Kim missing out on anything. Over spring break Katie and Kim decided that they wanted to go to New York City and they talked me into going. I’m glad I went. But I don’t have to do it again.

With the end of the school year, we knew that it would come time for Kim to leave. We did not want her to leave. We had grown so accustomed to her being there. We felt that she was truly a part of the family. Whatever we did we included her. Katie had gotten me family pictures for a Christmas present and Kim was in every group picture. I couldn’t believe that she would agree to do that. Our Christmas card is going to have Kim in there as our granddaughter. The reason I keep calling her my granddaughter is because her host mom is Katie, so that would make me her grandmother. I like that role, it has given me a practice session to be able to have a teenager as a grandparent.

One of the things that Kim and I did by ourselves was to have our nails done. We would go to the mall to get them done, that way if one of us got finished before the other we could walk the mall or go shopping or get something to eat. We went about every three weeks and Kim always came up with a really extravagant design. I just would tell them that I wanted red finger nail polish.

As the school year wound down so did the realization that Kim would be leaving. We wanted her to go home, to be back with her family. It would pain our heart that she was gone. I chickened out and made sure that I was not at home when she left. When I go back home she won’t be there. It won’t be that she left us. It’ll be that she’s gone to visit a friend or if she’s off on a trip or something like that. I will notice that the cat is gone though because I’ll have my desk back.

She has begged us to come see her. She has promised that her and her family would be back and they would stay with us for a few days and we are already looking forward to that. Katie has already decided to take a trip to France next summer so this is not the end of our relationship with Kim. It is having one less person in the house again and I guess that’ll be OK because we only have one bathroom and we’re not used to having to knock on the door when the door is shut. Usually we just walk in and say hey it’s me I’m coming in.

I guess the thing that I wanted to say with this post, is that if you ever have an opportunity to love somebody outside of your family, take that opportunity. It is so much joy to be able to develop a relationship with someone that you don’t know at all. At first you don’t know their personality, and then they grow on you, they respect you for who you are and you respect them for what they are trying to accomplish. Their desire to learn other cultures, their desire to learn a language that they have been studying their whole life. When Kim goes home and when she speaks English, she does have a little tint of a western Kentucky accent. I’m very proud that she does have that because she’s going to have a little bit of Fancy Farm in Paris.

I can’t wait to see her again.