How the Covid Stole the Picnic

How the Covid Stole the Picnic (with my apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Every Farmer
Down in Fancy Farm
liked the Picnic a lot

But the Covid,
Who lived all around
Did NOT!

The Covid hated everything!  It did not matter the season!
Now, please don’t ask why.  No one knows the reason.
It could be he did not enjoy wearing masks.
It could be, perhaps, that he did not like tasks.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been because you couldn’t see him, he was too small.

But whatever the reason,
The masks or the tasks,
He stood there Picnic week hating the Farmers,
Staring down from his perch with a sour, Covid-y frown
At the hot blazing bonfires over at the pits in town
For he knew that every Farmer down in Fancy Farm beneath
Was busy now, mowing their yards and walking their weeds.

“And they’re wearing their T-Shirts”, he snarled with a sneer,
“Saturday is the Picnic!  It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Covid fingers nervously drumming,
I must find some way to stop this Picnic from coming!

For,
Tomorrow, he knew . . .
All the Farmer girls and boys
Wouldn’t be able to wait to run the races
They had been practicing their paces
And then Saturday, they would wake bright and early
And there would be noise!  Oh the noise!
The noise of the hatchets chopping meat,
The noise of the band keeping a beat!
The noise of the grandma hollering bingo!
The noise of the boys and girls in the dunk tank they go!
And then the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
The noise of the politicians and of the crowds
The noise would be deafening, it would be so loud!

Then the Farmers, and all of their friends, young and old,
Would come out for fellowship, and for a feast.
They would eat pork, they would eat mutton, they would eat corn,
They would eat chicken, they would eat tomatoes, early in the morn.
They shared that feast with young and old, they would eat that
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on green beans, potato salad and slaw,
They’d fast on homemade cobblers, cakes and pies for all.
Which was something the Covid couldn’t stand in the least.

But FIRST
They’d do something
He liked least of all!
Every Farmer in Fancy Farm, the tall and the small,
would stand close together, with Lacy’s voice ringing
They’d stand hand-in-hand, and the Farmers would start praying!
They’d sing! And they’d pray!
And they would celebrate Mass!
And the Covid thought of them blessing the feast and he knew that he would pass.
The more the Covid thought “I must stop this whole thing!
Why for 140 years, I’ve put up with it now!
I must stop this Picnic from coming!”

But HOW?

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
The Covid
got a wonderful, awful idea!

“I know just what to do!” Covid laughed in his throat.
And he put on his nicest slacks, tie and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “what a great inspiration!”
“With this coat and this tie, I could pass for a politician.”

“All I need is an entourage . . . ”
Covid looked around.
But since everyone’s on lock-down, there was none to be found.
Did that stop Covid . . . ?
No!  Covid simply said,
“If I can’t find an entourage, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called for his dog, his fish and his cat,
And dressed them in campaign t-shirts and hats.

Then
He loaded his briefcase
And some clipboards
Into his Caddy, a sweet red ride,
With his entourage all sitting side-by-side

Then Covid hit the ignition
And the Caddy started down
Toward the homes where the Farmers
Snoozing in their town.

All of the bonfires had burned down to coals.
All the Farmers were dreaming along with their kin
Of that first bite of mutton, dripping down their chin.

Covid came in and stole all the games
He took away putt-putt, ping-pong and bingo just the same
He rounded the corner and spied the new truck
He hitched it to the Caddy and hauled it with luck
He took the Silly String and souvenirs and the quilts sewn anew
He left not a treat nor a jar of jam nor a few

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
around the whole grounds and was not hesitant
He went to the Speaker’s Stand and turned off the fans
“That’ll show those politicians and all their hot air.
“They’ll have to sweat it out and see if I care.”
He took all the microphones and didn’t leave a chair,
Then he got on the KET trailer, took the bunting and left it bare.

Then he did something awful, too awful to dwell on
He went to the pits and loaded up all the tons.
Not a speckle of pork, not a bite of mutton
He took it all and did not look back from his glutton.

He stuffed all the food in his Caddy with glee
“And now!” grinned Covid, “I will snatch up all that I see!”

It was right before dawn
All the Farmers arising
All the Farmers getting ready
For the day they’d be having

All over the county
All over the state
All over the country
All over the place
The Covid had mastered
All that he’s touched
And now he’s captured Fancy Farm
He thinks he’s so much!

And he waited for the Fancy Farmers to cry Boo-Hoo!

“Thats a noise” grinned the Covid
“That I simply MUST hear!”
So, he paused, and Covid put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising up from afar
It started in low.  Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn’t sad!  And the sound wasn’t mean!
There were no wails or horns or whistling
There was not even any heckling
This sound sounded joyful!
It couldn’t be so!
But it was joyful – and it began to grow!

He stared down at Fancy Farm
Covid popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Farmer in Fancy Farm, the tall and the small,
Was singing, and praying, every one and all!

He hadn’t stopped the Picnic from coming!
It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Covid, with his Covid soul
Stood puzzling and puzzling:  “How could it be so?”

It came without games!  It came without bingo!
It came without dinner or barbecue or a football throw!
It came without politicians, it came without speeches
It came with a Fun Run or even a toss for dish pieces.
And he puzzled for hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then Covid thought of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe the Picnic”, he thought, “doesn’t come for the money
Maybe the Picnic .. . perhaps . . . means a little bit more!”

And what happened then . . . ?
Well . . . in Fancy Farm they say
That Covid came down and joined them that day.
He sat up front for the singing and prayer
He helped bless the meat and seasoned it with the sprayer
He came the next day and helped bone out the meat
He talked with the Farmers and accepted a seat
He bought a T-Shirt that boasted the Tradition
He stood in line behind the partition
He met all kinds of new friends and took chances on the Ranger
And swore to them all that he would control his anger.

From that point on the Covid made up his mind
That he was not going to hate everything, he was going to be kind
He thanked his new friends when the day was done
And promised that next year the Picnic would come back strong.

(by little Cindy Lu)