I don’t think about the afterlife much. I can’t wait to get there but I don’t worry about it. It will be what it will be. But I really and truthfully hope for all of eternity I will be able to be with the people i love. That would be heaven.
When I graduated from high school I had a Charlie Brown quote as my senior quote. It said “Why can’t we get all the people in the world that we really like and then just stay together. I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”
Nothing is more sad than to have to say goodbye to the ones you love because of death. But truly believing that you can be with them forever makes saying goodbye a little bearable. I remember a lot of people dying and their deaths still hurt my heart but none so much as my grand-daughter Lucy.
Three of my grandparents died when I was a child. Only my dad’s mother was alive when I was an adult. I missed all of them but I didn’t know them well enough to miss them. I still miss Grandma though. I miss some of the things she would say. I really miss her cooking. I miss being able to tell her about the life I live in the country.
Both of my parents died when i was a young adult. I can still hear them in my mind. I know that I would recognize their voices anywhere but don’t really remember what they sounded like. I miss them every day. Every. Day. Daddy died in 1977 and Mom died in 1985. That was such a lifetime ago. None of my children ever knew them. Mom was still alive when Jay was born so she got to see him. He doesn’t remember her at all.
I had a deal with God. I told Him that because He took my parents from me so young He would never take one of my children. I think that deal was on my side because I have never gotten a verification from Him. But He has let my children be raised into adulthood. So I feel truly blessed.
I didn’t have that same deal with God about my grandchildren. When we found out that Lucy had died before she could even be born I was rocked to the core. How could I go through life without that precious child. I knew that she got to go straight to heaven without having to take a breath and I was so happy for her. But I was so sad for her parents, and for me. You just don’t expect to watch your children have to bury their child. And I would cry a lot. But most of the time I cried during church, and for me.
That was until my wise daughter reminded me that at every Mass we believe that everyone who has gone before us is there. We believe at the moment that the host is consecrated that all of the angels and saints are there. That means that Lucy is there, and my mom and dad. That has brought me so much peace.
So, there are many days that I cannot wait to get to heaven. The first thing I am going to do is find that granddaughter of mine and hold her for all eternity, or at least until someone comes and takes her away from me. Then I’m going to sit down and watch TV with my Mom and Dad until somebody starts a poker game with my grandparents. I want to see who is more full of shit. And then I’ll wait for everyone else I love to join me. And there we’ll wait until the Resurrection. I’ll be there hanging out with Jesus and His mother.
My son told me something right after we lost Lucy. He said “I’m going to have to make sure that I get to join my daughter one day in heaven.” I pray every day that he does, and that I do too. That will be a great resurrection!
