I try so very hard. I pray so very hard. I soul search. I analyze. If I have no outside good or bad thoughts, I’m fine. I can control my thoughts and my actions. But I can’t control my thoughts and actions when I have to deal with outside influences.
And outside influences come at you from all over the place, don’t they? I mean, you can’t turn on the TV without being influenced. The same is true with turning on the computer. Sometimes just checking your email can take a wonderful mood and put it right in the gutter. And if you encounter any people whatsoever then you are setting yourself up.
I was out running errands a couple of weeks ago. I was driving along, minding my own business, when a guy mistakenly ran a red light. It seemed that he had thought it had changed. I was sure I had the green light but then I got very concerned because I was busy running errands and thought I had missed it turning green. Thank goodness a woman in the lane next to this guy stopped and told the officer that they did indeed have the red light. She was a godsend. But the officer was so courteous, the gentleman was truly sorry and my attitude was very understanding. It was an accident, plain and simple. My attitude and mood surprised me. I was calm throughout and didn’t get the least bit upset.
But, just yesterday, I was again out running errands and had to stop by and drop off some packages at the UPS drop box at the courthouse. We don’t have a UPS Store or really anywhere to drop off large items for pickup. I was in heels so decided to pull into the spot right in front of the drop box. It happened to be a handicapped spot.
Now, I wasn’t parking. I had my engine running. I had 2 doors open. I was up at the drop box trying to force a box into the drop box. It wouldn’t go. So, I turned around to go back to the car to get the next box to see if it would go.
A woman pulled up at the light right there as if to turn right. She lowered her window and hollered at me. She asked me if I was disabled. I was thrown a little but then realized that I was indeed in the handicapped spot. I took a sugar sweet approach and told her no, I wasn’t but that I would be moving in a minute. Now, mind you, she was too far past the spot to pull in. She hollered back that she was disabled and she needed a place to park and that I was parked illegally.
Well, let me tell you that the Bad Witch came out. I was still sugar sweet to her and told her I would be moving in just a minute. But as she drove off, supposedly to circle the block, I started. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t parked. I was “standing”. My car was running and my doors were open. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t disabled, I had a job. I also wanted to know if she was disabled in the head because she didn’t look disabled to me. I also wanted to point out all of the other parking spots that were available, that were really closer to the courthouse. Of course, she had pulled off. I got back in my car and drove off. Oh, but she got my blood boiling and I was in a pretty bad mood the rest of the day.
All of this I wanted to say, and it would have probably gotten me past it, but I made up my mind not to say anything because I knew that all of those haters would have had a hay-day telling me off because I was in that spot for all of 5 minutes.
There are times that you have to sit back and analyze your actions, and analyze who you are. And you have to determine if you are going to let those outside influences turn you into something you don’t necessarily want to be. You have to decide if you are going to let those outside influences determine what is good or bad for you. Once you have decided that then you can get on with your life. And those that you can’t control you have to decide how you are going to handle them, or eliminate them. Once you are past that then that frees you up to become who you want to be. It sounds a whole lot easier than it is.
But ask yourself, are you your own worst enemy? Do you really know yourself and how you will react in certain situations? What outside influences just distract you as opposed to those that shut you down?
If you ask yourself these questions then when situations arise that turn you into a witch you will have the option to choose good or bad.