We all need our mother at times, don’t we? When life treats you and beats you up, you need your mama in your corner. Sometimes she’s not right there, is she? It doesn’t matter how old you are, there are days when you need someone to lean on, someone to take your side. And having your mother, inside yourself, makes it convenient to have her there when you need her the most.
We all have an 8 year old child inside of us who needs a mother. She needs to motivate you, protect you, care for you, and encourage you. When all you want to do is lie on the couch, you need someone to kick you in the rear and make you get up and do something. When someone is trash-talking you, sometimes your mother steps up to protect you from getting your feelings hurt. When you haven’t been eating right, or haven’t been exercising, sometimes you need someone to get you back on the straight and narrow. And when you feel like you’ve done something really special but no one seems to notice, your mother certainly does.
Your mother is there to listen to you fussing, your dreams, and that presentation you have to give. She hears you when your co-worker is on your last nerve and you need to unload. She will listen to you rant on and on but then tell you to move on and get over it. She will listen to all your hopes and dreams, no matter how far-fetched. And she will help you sort through it all and decide if it’s worth your time. And she won’t have an issue if you come back tomorrow with a whole other list of hopes and dreams. And when you have a presentation that has to be perfect it’s your mother who will watch it over and over and over and give you constructive criticism.
But here are some points on how you can take care of yourself, just like your mother should or would:
- She just wants you to be happy. Your mother’s primary goal in life is to help you to be happy, whatever it takes.
- She wants to know what is happening in your life. She truly cares that someone took your lunch out of the break-room refrigerator. She really wants to know what you think of your new co-worker.
- You can tell her what you are thinking. You don’t have to sugar-coat it. You can be yourself. She will love you anyway.
- Your mother has faith in you. She cares. She will be there if you are hurting. But she lets you take care of yourself. She’s not going to fight your battles for you.
- She will warn you if you are in danger. She will protect you if you get in trouble.
- You can be yourself. You don’t have to entertain her. She knows you.
In your life you may have not had the best mother. But you can feel what you really need. We all have maternal instincts, even men. It is important to realize what you truly need in your mother and then become that person, for yourself. That person, your mother, is there. You may not know how to do it but deep down, she is there. You have to learn to trust yourself because you’ll take care of yourself, just lie your mother would, or should
Ask your 8 year old self, “How’s your day been?” You can answer that question, can’t you? And answer it like an 8 year old. Tell your mother what you had for lunch. Tell her what your next-door neighbor had to say. But then go to the next step and ask “What do you want out of this?” If you ate junk for lunch and are trying to be healthy, take it to that level. Or better yet, if you are proud of yourself for having eaten healthy, make sure to brag on yourself. No one needs to know. Only you need to know. Or if you stopped at the pharmacy to get a prescription for your shut-in neighbor, let your “mother” brag on you. Again, no one else needs to know. But let someone pat you on the back.
I came to this years ago when I realized that my little 8 year old self was still alive and well, and kicking and screaming in my life. She was fine as long as everything was going well. But the minute I didn’t get my way, she showed up, with a vengeance. Over the years it became obvious to me that everyone has a child in their personality. And it became obvious to me that everyone has the capability of parenting themselves.
Take some time to get to know those aspects of your personality, and start taking care of them.