Where do I begin? There are so many things that she taught me, I don’t think I could pick just one.
She taught me how to be a friend. My mother was the best friend to so many people. She seriously cared about people. And people loved her. I will never forget that when she died there were 8 arrangements that had a ribbon on them that said “to my best friend”. Mom was a very good friend to me as well.
She didn’t teach me how to cook. Mom couldn’t cook at all. But I do fix chili and potato salad just like she did. So, I guess she did teach me to cook. And I don’t consider myself a cook. But I can put supper on the table.
She taught me how to talk on the phone. Mom spent most of her days on the phone, talking with her girlfriends or her sister or her mother. When she went to work outside of the house it was on the phone. She worked for the phone company for awhile and a car dealership answering the phone. It was years later that she went to work for the bank.
Mom did not teach me how to manage money. She did teach me though to be generous. I truly believe that if I would ever win the lottery that a whole lot of people would reap that prize. Mom would give me the last $5 in her wallet or in the bank. She never had a thing but she would give you all that she had.
Mom did not teach me to clean house. I remember when I was growing up Mom would take two weeks every year and clean the house. She did spring cleaning and fall cleaning. Spring was the hardest. But although we all had our chores to do she did not saddle us with this deep cleaning. I think she wanted it done the way she wanted. And I think she wanted it done in the time she had. We would slow her down and she would have to go behind us and fix it anyway. I remember though when I was grown and had my first house. I did not know how to wash a wall. I remember calling her and fussing at her that she never taught me to wash walls. She came right over and gave me a lesson. That might have been the last time I ever washed a wall. That is hard work.
Mom taught me to remember who I was and to be true to myself. She bragged on every little thing that we did. You would have thought that my sister, brother and I were God’s gift to the whole wide world. I guess we were. We were her gift to God so it was right that we were treated like God’s gift to the world. I’ll never forget the day that I was so tired of being Freddie and Carilynn’s middle daughter. Today I could take out a billboard advertising that they are my parents. And as their daughter I have a lot to live up to.
Mom taught me how to dance. Actually, Mom and Dad both taught me how to dance. Daddy had the best rhythm. Mom had the moves. She would move you all over the dance floor, even if that was just the living room. After Daddy died she would go dancing all the time but she would only dance with the good dancers. I guess that’s why I don’t dance too much now. I don’t know very many good dancers. Sorry Jimmy.
Mom taught me how to pray. Yes, I’m sure that she helped me memorize the Hail Mary and the Our Father. I’m sure. She would help us pray “Lovely Lady Dressed in Blue” although I couldn’t remember that prayer for anything after she died. She made sure we went to church on Sundays, that we went to Catholic schools and that we were true to our faith. But, Mom taught me how to pray with my heart. She taught me how important it was to have a conversation and a relationship and to take it all to God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit or the Blessed Mother or the Saints. Mom had a saint for every prayer that needed to be prayed. And Mom taught me my devotion to the Rosary. That has been such a gift.
Mom taught me how to love a husband. Mom loved Daddy. Man, did she love Daddy. And we used to say that she put up with a lot from him. But I don’t think that’s true. I think he did everything he could to support his family and sometimes that meant working two jobs. So he wasn’t around an awful lot. The only thing I remember them arguing about is him playing golf on Sunday mornings. That was really the only time he had to himself. Mom wanted him in church with us but she understood that he needed that time. Daddy put up with a lot from Mom too. I guess I never knew how much Mom loved Daddy until he died. Then I came to realize that their love would never die.
But I guess the most important thing that I learned from my mother was how to be a mother. She taught me to treat my children individually even though she would dress my sister and me in matching outfits. She taught me to support my children but not do it for them. She taught me to show them how much I loved them just by the look on my face. She taught me how to teach them to be the people they were meant to be and when the time came to teach them how to be wonderful mothers and fathers. That is all that any of us can ask for, right? I want my parents and grandparents and great-grandparents to come alive each and every day in my children, my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren. I want my son to make fun of me to his grandchildren when he’s 90 years old. I will smile down at them then because I will know that my memory still lives on.
